the ring

I went to the jeweler's to check out rings a few days before I proposed to Norah.

"Show me engagment rings, please. Rings specifically designed to delight a dour, conceited misanthrope. It must also be very inexpensive. I only have forty cents."

"Well, let me show what we have." She led me to a case and showed me a few reasonable rings. I spotted the one I eventually got, and thought it looked pretty swell.

"Let me check out that one, how about." She handed it to me, and I glanced at the price tag. $72,000. "Why in God's name is this so expensive?"

"Well, obviously it's very beautiful. But more importantly, it has magic powers. Kind of like Green Lantern's ring."

"Whoa, seriously?" I was very interested. Then a thought struck me. "Is it controlled by willpower? Because Norah doesn't have any."

"No, actually, this one is fueled by avarice," she said.

Hmm. This caused a new worry. With Norah's apparent infinite level of greed, she could be all-powerful. I decided to risk it, as she'd probably use her ring to benefit both of us.

I performed several unspeakable acts to get the ring discounted to the point where I could afford it. I proposed to Norah, and explained to her the power I had just given her.

Unfortunately, like Green Lantern's ring, this ring is powerless when dealing with the color yellow. Norah's sallow complexion has rendered it useless. Bummer.